Fart Poem

When your a child things seem so strange and odd
When your a child things can seem so funny
But then you grow up and become a silly sod
You only eat poached eggs with yolks that are not runny

Why is it with age, people grow so serious
Why is it with age people grow so crap
As a young child you were often foolish, delirious
And you could stop at any moment and have an hour nap

But still there are things that can make the old folks smile
But still there are things that will always be a joke
It happens when the scent in the air is putrid vile
And the simple act of smelling can make you cough and choke

In private we have often expelled a sickening scent
In private we have often expelled a heated gas
A weapon used for torture and often for torment
One of 2 things produced by your ass

But people get so shy, so shocked when its discussed
But people get so shy, so shocked when its heard
Their faces get so sickened and filled with disgust
As if they are tasting a mushy tiny turd

But why are they prudish over such a stupid matter
But why aren’t they laughing over such a silly thing
They should giggle when they hear this gaseous splatter
They should bend over laughing when they hear a bum hole sing

For farting at its purist should always be cherished
For farting at its most simple should always be adored
When heard in a restaurant don’t acted like someone perished
When heard in a meeting it should never be ignored

Use your farts at times where they cause the most joy
Use your farts whenever it will make people laugh
Contain them in your backside, ready to deploy
Release them in front of the administrative staff

Remember at times they’ll be used for disgrace
Remember at times they’ll cause great distrust
You will let one out in your lovely partners face
And torture your loved one with a poo stinky thrust

Now your partner will probably hate you
Now your partner will try to flee
Cause you filled their lungs with your gas poo
A fecal filled potpourri

But this nastiness won’t last forever
This nastiness will all be forgot
They’ll retaliate to your stench endevour
And get you back with their own fart filled squat

So the fart should cause no one any trouble
So the fart should cause no one irritation
Learn to love this fun hot poo air bubble
Learn to love your daily butt hole irrigation

Listen to a reading of this poem in BLARM! Episode # 20