The Valentine’s Day Plucking
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valentine

Valentine’s Day and me generally don’t get along. Don’t get me wrong – I am a sucker for chocolates, cheesy greeting cards and candle light dinners. Actually, I pretty much adore any stereotypical romantic gesture. But for some strange reason I have had the worst luck on Valentine’s Day.

One of my past boyfriends hated the “commercialization of love” and didn’t want to give me gifts just because the greeting card industry pressured him into it. One year I was actually stood up on Valentines Day and just last year I was digging a hole to bury myself in – because I was dumped at the end of January.

Yup! Valentine’s Day always found a way to throw a pie in my face. So for a while I think I gave up on the day completely. I guess I just assumed the worst was going to happen and I had to find a way to ignore the day completely or somehow hide – because if I didn’t, some comedic disappointment was bound to occur. Every February 14th, I was convinced the equivalent of me tripping up in dog poop was going to happen to my heart.

So in an attempt to avoid the possible disaster around every corner I made it tradition to spend my Valentines Day hanging out with friends – eating curry. Which is exactly what I am going to do today.

But…this years Valentine’s Day is a little different.

Why you ask?

Well…..

I GOT FLOWERS!!!!

FlowerGasm!

Me! The girl who has never gotten flowers….got flowers! I lost my flower virginity! My flower cherry is popped! I got fucked hard – flower style! (What does that even mean?!)

So…what do I think of Valentines Day now?

I fucking love it!

(P.S. Hugs and kisses Lloyd)

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