Hissy Fits and Farts
Comments:  2

A few days ago I was in a crap mood. I had my head on my desk,  I was pouting like a wet dog and I think there were moments of whimpering.  It’s never a pretty sight when I get in a bad mood but I guess for those around me it might be mildly entertaining. It didn’t take long for my whimpering to turn into a hissy fit. I believe at one point I actually slammed my foot down on the floor and complained about my life being SOOOOOOO DIFFICULT!

To hear an actual WankerGirl “hissy fit” – listen to something I recorded a few years back. I like to call this “The Lawn Mowing Melt Down

Well, as the day progressed I randomly found myself on a website that made everything a little better. 1000 Awesome Things is a blog that lists the simple and almost forgotten awesome things that happen all the time . I’ll give you a few examples:

As I read a few entries, I started to day dream about all those awesome things and I actually started to feel better. I then remembered that a few years ago I myself had written a listing of awesome things. This of course led me on a wild goose chase through my files to find that list. (Side-note: I found a poem that I wrote about farts as well).

So I FINALLY find this list but it really wasn’t what I was expecting. It seems that my “List of Awesome Things” was actually a list called “Mundane Things that Make You Want to Die!”

Somehow over the years my brain distorted the memory of this list completely! It makes me wonder what other memories I have managed to completely change. Maybe I am far more negative then I realize. Maybe I am goth. Dear god…what if I am goth and I don’t even realize it. Fuck…

Anyway, on Thu, Aug 10, 2006 at approximately 12:19 PM I sat myself down and I wrote this list. This utterly pointless list….ENJOY!

Mundane Things that Make You Want to Die!

  • head colds that make your head feel massive and fill your nose with snot
  • stepping on a plug
  • getting stung by a bee
  • biting your mouth in the same place over and over again
  • a paper cut
  • stubbing your toe
  • dropping the bottle of salsa just as you place in in the fridge
  • when the diet pepsi bottle explodes just as you open it
  • when oil in a frying pan pops and burns your arm
  • when you sleep weird and wake up with a strained muscle in your neck
  • spilling your coffee in the morning
  • when it takes forever to get a menu in a restaurant
  • when you taste an asprin
  • buring your toast
  • hang nails
  • the moment you realise the amount of dust that lives behind your computer monitor
  • when you lose one sock
  • when one side of your headphones stops working
  • when your bookmark falls out of your book and you lose your place
  • when the plastic tab on your coffee cup flips back and won’t click in


2 Responses to “Hissy Fits and Farts”
  1. Caron sista says:

    Your meltdown is hysterical!!!

  2. Sharon Y says:

    You know what should make you feel better on those crappy days? Thinking about how many people you make smile and laugh. This was a great read/listen.

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