A few days ago I was in a crap mood. I had my head on my desk, I was pouting like a wet dog and I think there were moments of whimpering. It’s never a pretty sight when I get in a bad mood but I guess for those around me it might be mildly entertaining. It didn’t take long for my whimpering to turn into a hissy fit. I believe at one point I actually slammed my foot down on the floor and complained about my life being SOOOOOOO DIFFICULT!
To hear an actual WankerGirl “hissy fit” – listen to something I recorded a few years back. I like to call this “The Lawn Mowing Melt Down”
Well, as the day progressed I randomly found myself on a website that made everything a little better. 1000 Awesome Things is a blog that lists the simple and almost forgotten awesome things that happen all the time . I’ll give you a few examples:
As I read a few entries, I started to day dream about all those awesome things and I actually started to feel better. I then remembered that a few years ago I myself had written a listing of awesome things. This of course led me on a wild goose chase through my files to find that list. (Side-note: I found a poem that I wrote about farts as well).
So I FINALLY find this list but it really wasn’t what I was expecting. It seems that my “List of Awesome Things” was actually a list called “Mundane Things that Make You Want to Die!”
Somehow over the years my brain distorted the memory of this list completely! It makes me wonder what other memories I have managed to completely change. Maybe I am far more negative then I realize. Maybe I am goth. Dear god…what if I am goth and I don’t even realize it. Fuck…
Anyway, on Thu, Aug 10, 2006 at approximately 12:19 PM I sat myself down and I wrote this list. This utterly pointless list….ENJOY!
Mundane Things that Make You Want to Die!
- head colds that make your head feel massive and fill your nose with snot
- stepping on a plug
- getting stung by a bee
- biting your mouth in the same place over and over again
- a paper cut
- stubbing your toe
- dropping the bottle of salsa just as you place in in the fridge
- when the diet pepsi bottle explodes just as you open it
- when oil in a frying pan pops and burns your arm
- when you sleep weird and wake up with a strained muscle in your neck
- spilling your coffee in the morning
- when it takes forever to get a menu in a restaurant
- when you taste an asprin
- buring your toast
- hang nails
- the moment you realise the amount of dust that lives behind your computer monitor
- when you lose one sock
- when one side of your headphones stops working
- when your bookmark falls out of your book and you lose your place
- when the plastic tab on your coffee cup flips back and won’t click in
Comments2 Responses to “Hissy Fits and Farts”
Speak Your Mind
Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!