So its Christmas time….. Yipppeee! It’s that time of year where you gain 5-10 pounds, drunkenly say things you regret and naively convince yourself that when the new year comes you will get that promotion! Well its time to stop deluding yourself people!!!!
Wow…that was an unnecessary tangent.
Back on track….Christmas is that time of year where angels get wings, and baby Jesus laughs and snowmen teach us how to love (it involves a carrot). But most importantly its that time of year when people buy you stuff.
To commemorate Christmas this year I thought I would put together a shopping list for all the naughty geeks out there. Of course, if at any point you are overwhelmed by a tremendous sense of giving and feel the need to share the joy…I would not be adverse to receiving one of these gifts….just saying.
So without further delay…..
What to Get for the Geek/Perv this Christmas Season
(aka. What to Buy WankerGirl)
1. Form 2
For months now I have been seeing articles/banner ads concerning this eye catching sex toy. The Form 2 isn’t shaped like your normal vibrator and it was this fact that made me quite curious. After watching a few “demonstration videos” I can tell it vibrates like a motherfucker and it has the added feature of being water-proof. Shower time can be play time! But still….its peculiar shape makes it seem so mysterious! Like the Egyptian Pyramids! At the price of $135 US, I don’t see myself buying it anytime soon and I don’t anticipate my mom giving it to me as a stocking stuffer either. Sigh. Nonetheless, the Form 2 is on my Christmas list and I do hope that perv I call Santa is listening. (Learn more)
2. Space Invaders Underwear
When I was a little girl I would visit my aunts house every few weeks and completely take over her Atari system. The only games that kept my attention were Keystone Cops and the classic Space Invaders. I would sit in front of her tiny tv screen for hours – destroying those motherfucking aliens! Pew! Pew! DIE DIE DIE! Wow. I have a lot of alien anger. Who knew?
Anyway…the point of this story is….I think I need Space Invaders underwear. (Learn More)
3. Best Women’s Erotica 2010
Violet Blue has been an idol of mine for quite sometime. She is the ultimate in sex bloggers and she has one of the few websites I visit on a regular basis. Along with being an amazing blogger, Violet Blue edits a yearly collection of erotica stories. HOT! I should admit to being a novice at reading erotica and I have no idea if I will prefer it to watching. But if Miss Violet has been involved with its creation – I just might have to give it more than a moments glace.Â (Learn More)
4. Princess Leia Robot
My obsession with robots is well documented. This obsession has now been perfected. Every so often two separate, wonderful things get merged together to create a perfect storm of awesome. Like peanut butter and jelly! Like Hall and Oates!
The adorable boltsandbots online store over at Etsy is now selling a Princess Leia Robot and it causes my inner geek brain to scream out in joy! It’s probably the least pervy gift on this list…but who cares! Pincess Leia + Robot = Geek Boner! (Learn More)
5. Wanker Plate
The naughty online store Co Co de Mur is now selling a plate that has the work “wanker” written across it in pretty letters. I like to think that I inspired its creation and eventually I will be the muse for an entire collection of “Wanker Dinnerware”. Imagine brides all over the world asking for “Wanker Dinnerware” as a wedding gift! My day dreams are fun!Â (Learn More)
6. Teeny Weeny USB Drive
You can now purchase a 1GB USB drive in the shape of a penis. Need I saw more ? (Learn More)
So Merry Christmas everyone! And don’t forget…you are lovely 🙂
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