1. I Got a Tattoo
OH YES! After two hours of hard work (Massive thanks to TroubleBound Tattoo) and some teeth gritting pain, I am now the proud owner of two lovely sparrows on my back. As always, after one gets a tattoo you feel like you can take over the world – and this time was no different. (Click below to actually hear me babble right after the experience.) I am not sure if this is odd or not but my tattoos make me feel beautiful and maybe because of that – I want more. Yes! Now I have a desire for something bigger and sexier! I want a tattoo of a pinup on my arm. More specifically, I would love to have my pin-up be a naughty librarian or a sexy computer geek. I have always held a strong belief that the librarian is the forgotten sex fiend and the female geek is the girl everyone has a crush on.
2. I Bought Madonna’s Greatest Hits
I own every song Madonna has ever recorded (This includes many, MANY remixes) and for some strange reason I felt the need to re-buy them all again on her new Greatest Hits album. It makes no sense! I think I got swept up in the moment or somehow convinced myself they would all sound different on a greatest hits album. They didn’t. THEY DIDN’T AT ALL! But nonetheless,Â for the past 5 days I have been listening to “Who’s That Girl” on loop.
Oh Madonna – how I love thee. I love thee more than hummus served with a salty rice cracker.
3. I Went to a Wedding.
Its true – once I screamed from a moving car “DON’T DO IT!” when I passed a wedding party outside a church. Probably not my most classy moment but when it comes down to it, even at my most jaded – I am still a fool for love. Friends Devin and Isobel got married a few days ago and unexpectedly I found myself swooning just a little bit at the ceremony. Telling someone that you love them and that want to be with them forever is big. Saying it in a room full of family and friends is MASSIVE. Like Godzilla sized massive. It took me a little off guard when I found myself feeling a little sentimental and a little “aww shucks”. Like most weddings it all eventually led to many glasses of wine, a car bar and a soul murdering hangover. But hungover or not – the wedding was lovely, it made me smile a million smiles and it was the perfect excuse to buy a new dress.
4. I Bought a New Sticker for my Laptop
Placing a sticker on my laptop is always a momentous occasion. In many ways it feels like getting a tattoo – it feels permanent. It took me around 4 years to muster up the courage to put my first sticker on my MacBook Pro. That sticker is of the naughty and awesome Miss Bettie Page. I look at that sticker now and its like Betty is looking up at me, flirting with me, showing me her boobs! It’s just perfect. (Side-note: I always get bizarre stares from airport security when they see my laptop. No rubber glove yet though!) Anyway, while I was wasting some time before an appointment I wandered into a second hand bookstore. The store smelled like mildew and it made me feel comfy. I strolled up and down the isles and after convincing myself that I didn’t need to purchase a grade 4 science text book I noticed a sea of sparkly objects under the main counter. I saw stickers! Many stickers! Most importantly there was a Betty Boop sticker! Oh yes – Miss Betty has now joined Miss Bettie on my laptop and when I’m not looking I think they cuddle. Or 69.
5. I Read
My freind Amber is awesome. She has her own blog and a few months ago she wrote a review for a book called “The Unit”. After reading her review, I jumped in a car, bought the book and gobbled it up.
This random action has now sparked the literary genius in me! Of course, when I say literary genius I mean “person who reads every so often”. But these details are unimportant. Next up is Catch-22 by Joseph Heller and then Burlesque! (and the New Bump-n-Grind) by Michelle Baldwin. Words are fun!
6. I Bought a Ticket to New York City!
I am going to back to New York City and this time around I plan to punch that city in the groin, make sweet love to it and then impress its parents over dinner! Me and NYC can never seem to commit but when we do find ourselves in each others presence we always make quite an impression. This trip will be a little different because me and my two sisters will be taking my Dad. I want to show him the Empire State Building, The United Nations and the Brooklyn Bridge. But most of all, I just want him to walk up and down the streets and experience NYC the way I do – Drunk. Tee hee….I am funny!
7. I Decided to Paint my Bedroom Like This!
8. I Listened to 50 Cent
50 Cent is obsessed with butts. Also, he wants me face down and ass up. Get in line 50…get in line…
9. I Saw a Mangina
Dear men, take your penis and shove it between your legs. Voila! You have a MANGINA! Now go and call your mom and tell her all about it.
10. I Chose My Musical Wake-up Call
So I bought one of those clock radios that has an Ipod dock. So this means…I can literally wake up to any song I want to. The choices are endless! But I feel like the whole situation is too much fucking pressure! One day I picked David Bowie and then the next day was Bloc Party. Both Mr. Bowie and Mr. Party are awesome but it took me 20 minutes each night to actually choose them from the musical pack. So after much pointless deliberation I have chosen one band to be my morning wake-up call. One band to greet me in the morning with a stiff kick in the rock and roll balls. One band to tell the world that WankerGirl is awake and she wants to eat a bagel!
Oh yes….I wake up each morning to The Go-Go’s!!!!!!!
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