Wanking Europe – Part 2
Comments:  2

Wanking Europe - Part 2

Bonjour! I am in the UK! Well I was in the UK. Now I am in Canada. But for the next few minutes, lets go back in time and take a trip to the mysterious land of London! (Cue The Clash for background music!)

Airlines and the Art of Bad Breath
On Sept 17, at approximately 6:30 p.m. I landed at Heathrow Airport – Terminal 5. My travels from Hamburg to London were uneventful but still memorable. For some strange reason I felt stupidly giddy about flying British Airways. I imagined British Airways being posh and upper class. I was wrong – when flying “economy class” all planes look the same. Although I should point out one minor difference – everybody on the flight speaks with a British accent! Shocking indeed! I have always been a sucker for a British accent. Everything they say sounds important, highly intelligent and it sort of makes me swoon. In addition to the accents, I realized most of the people on the plane were men and they were all dressed in suits. I of course was not in a suit. No, I was wearing a Madonna t-shirt. I sat there feeling slightly out of place but pleasantly comforted by the sound of British men talking nonsense.

Near the end of the flight a man sitting next to me leaned over – held out some gum and a package of mints. I took a mint and thanked him. I then looked at him and said “Is this your subtle way of telling me that I have bad breath”. He smirked and said, “Yes! Actually, everybody on the plane was complaining about it”. I giggled and realized I was definitely in the UK because I was already being sarcastically insulted. Its my own personal belief that the more a British man teases you, the more he adores you. So obviously this man wanted me to have his babies.

millersMiller’s Residence Gives You Booze
Once off the plane, my sister and I found our way to Miller’s Residence. This eccentric B&B was plucked right out of someones fantastic imagination. The house was covered in antiques, jazz music played in the common room and most importantly – this B&B had a free bar. Included in this bar was Miller’s Gin. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, this B&B made its own gin!

Tuttle for Everyone
After an initial night of curry and cider (Note: while eating my curry I ate an entire chili pepper when I mistakenly thought it was a piece of asparagus) I woke up on Friday morning and started making my way towards Tuttle. Now I am sure most of you are thinking – what the fuck is Tuttle. Well – go here to find out what it really is. If you were to get me to explain it, I would incoherently say that Tuttle is this awesome social gathering of awesome people and awesome things are talked about. The charming Mr. Lloyd Davis took me under his wing when I arrived and for that I owe him a MILLION DOLLARS! I met up with some friends (I am looking at you Mike Sizemore and Steve Purkis), I had a pint and before I knew it – hours had past and I found my way down to SoHo.

SoHoSoHo Goes to Bed Early
In the past I have expressed my undying love for the website BitchBuzz and it was in London that I got to meet the lovely Cate Sevilla – the founding editor of BitchBuzz. I should admit that after meeting her I might have developed a mild crush on her  – but its best that we keep that tiny fact away from her husband :).  When I think back to that night in SoHo I remember conversations about Dr. Who themed underwear and Victorian erotica – so obviously it was a brilliant night.

Although, it was on this Saturday night that I realized everything in London closed ridiculously early. I have grown so accustomed to my late nights here in St. John’s that it stunned me to see last call being shouted out at around 11:30 p.m. So without any other choice I said goodnight to all of the lovelies, found my way to a take-away and stuffed my face with a pasty. Dear God! That British piece of late night food was seriously orgasmic. No really…I came.

traThe Last Day
The next day I simply wandered. I found myself at Trafalgar Square and made childish jokes about “Nelson’s Column” in my head. I ate a cupcake at Covent Gardens and by the end of the night I was having some of that Miller’s Gin.

It had been around 10 years since I had been in Europe and as time ticked by I realized that this trip was almost over.

Conclusion
After every vacation I always feel a little bit more grown up. This vacation wasn’t about meeting someone, or chasing down a boy or going to a Podcamp. This vacation was simply about being in Europe and experiencing that world for wonderfully selfish reasons.

The year 2009 has been a bit of a fucker. On one hand I found the silly fantasticalness of Burlesque and on the other hand – I feel like my heart has been through a boxing match (Oh the drama!). Strangely enough – I wouldn’t change one nano-second of it. But to me, this trip to Europe was a bit of a line in the sand.

So what next? Who the fuck knows! I don’t even know what I want for breakfast tomorrow. But one thing is for certain – Europe has my heart. To everyone I met – I thank you for the laughs and the drinks.

And to Europe I send hugs, kisses and a little heavy petting 🙂

Love,
WankerGirl

Comments

2 Responses to “Wanking Europe – Part 2”
  1. Derek says:

    I’ve been wondering how you have been, so I check your site and WOW! You’re going all over the world!!! have fun Dana. I’ll miss the podcast, but have been listening long enough that I actually “hear” you reading the posts as I read them. Pretty creepy, really.

    Anyway, glad to hear that you are roaming the world! Enjoy!

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