Being Stood Up

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Being stood up sort of happens in slow motion. At first you think you showed up too early. Then you think the other person is just a little late. But then…eventually… it finally hits you  – that fucking douche bag is not showing up.

Yes, it is true. I was stood up.

For approximately 45 minutes I sat in a bar – drank a pint of Guinness and waited for a guy who had no intention of ever showing up (even though he has asked me out only a few hours prior). He didn’t call, he didn’t text. That cocksucker just left me there. Strangely enough – I never for one second felt sad or pathetic. Why should I!? I had just gotten my hair done, I had a pretty dress on ( Note: A dress that showed the perfect amount of cleavage!) and that pint of Guinness I was drinking was like liquid heaven!

So upon realising that this guy was never showing up and that he had COMPLETELY wasted my time – I decided to be the adult. I decided to walk out of that bar with my dignity intact and have a lovely night anyway. I held my head high knowing that I was the mature adult in the situation.

Around 10 minutes after thinking this I realized maturity was boring. So I texted Mr. Douche Bag the following message:

“Who the fuck stands people up? OH! That’s right! Assholes do!”

By the end of that night I found myself in my favorite pub, surrounded by my favorite people. I was eating sour cream and bacon chips, chugging double Caesars and laughing my ass off.

I found out afterward that the guy who stood me up had fallen asleep. That’s why he never showed up. So I think we can safely assume – I had the better night.

When I was a kid I remember staying up really late on Saturday nights –  watching the most random tv shows. Actually, if I am to be completely honest – I was usually looking for pervy foreign films (but that is a different story for a different day). Anyway, one day I was sitting on the floor of my basement clicking through the channels. I stopped for a moment to watch a really weird black and white sci-fi show. I remember watching it and feeling really unsettled. I had no idea what going on! Everyone was British, the production values were crap and there were upside down garbage cans everywhere! Later I figured out that these garbage cans were called Daleks and of course that show was Doctor Who.

Below is a sample of what terrorized me as a young child:


The Dalek’s Master Plan Part 1
Uploaded by tardismedia. – Classic TV and last night’s shows, online.

It was my ex-boyfriend who gave me my first solid introduction to the show – The Doctor came in the form of Christopher Eccleston . I don’t know what it is about Christoper but he makes me go all wobbly. I actually think he could take my pants off with the power of his mind alone. So since he already had perverted control over me – I started watching Dr. Who on a regular basis.  After the first season I was hooked! But then out of the blue The Doctor changed! I had no idea The Doctor could change!

For those of you who don’t watch Doctor Who – let me explain. Basically the character of The Doctor can change form. He can unexpectedly become a completely new person. Can you imagine the trauma of it all! I had a perfectly hard geek boner over Christopher Eccleston and then BLAMMO! Some other guy became The Doctor and I no longer had damp panties.

I didn’t watch the show again for about 4 years.

So recently I started hearing about the new and improved Doctor Who. Initially I didn’t give it much thought because rarely if ever do I go back to a TV show once I have stopped watching it. But it was upon reading this article on BitchBuzz – that I decided to give the show another try.

Well did I like it? Well lovers…here is a picture of the new Doctor.

“SWOON”

Look at that messy hair! That tweed jacket! That mother fucking bow tie! In addition to his knee buckling good looks – he talks like an over educated British buffoon. Which is like my favorite type of man ever! And lets not forget – he is a time traveler and fights space aliens! All of these factors add up to one final conclusion – this show is like porn to me! I can’t get enough. I watched the entire season in a week!

So at the moment I am searching high and low for Dr. Who themed underwear. This has turned out to be a little more difficult than I had hoped.  But I did just buy a new teddy bear…and of course I have named him The Doctor. Look at the resemblance!


Ok. Geek. Rant. Over. For now.

Sometimes a random act falls into your lap. An act that is so awesome….so sweet…that you have to blog about it. (I’m a geek!)

A few weeks ago on Twitter I noticed something in my feed that stuck out in my food obsessed vision. A fellow twitter-er @cupcakecowgirl asked if anyone would like some cupcakes. I honestly thought she was just being silly. For example, sometimes I ask people on Twitter if they would like to see my boobs. Do I mean it? Not usually! But who am I to turn down even a “pretend” gift of cupcakes?!

But holy cow! She was actually serious! This cupcake goddess (aka. Lori) actually likes to send out cupcakes to complete strangers. So after giving her my contact info – I received a package in the mail around 4 days later….

They were almost too beautiful to eat. Almost.

So how were they? How did they taste? Did she put rat poison in them?  Well if she did – it would be totally worth it! They were the best cupcakes I have ever had. Each one was a little piece of red velvet orgasmic heaven.  In an additional act of kindness to us all, Lori recently posted the recipe to her website. So now you can all have a taste.

Now its time to view my cupcake orgasm!

P.S. Thanks Lori…you are lovely 🙂

Every so often I look at my Blackberry and I sigh. Why do I sigh? Well lets just say the phone has its limitations and I have a tendency to use it when I am in the bath. But even with its slow processing and awkward ways – me and my blackberry love each other. We’ve been through a lot! So just a few weeks ago I was looking at this phone and I realized that I had never deleted a single picture off the phone. Yup…there are hundreds of low quality photos filling it up tight. So with a dash of curiosity and a bucket full of boredom – I finally had a look at all those pictures. Below is a tiny taste.