When I was 19 years old I was pretty much obsessed with all things England. I had posters of David Bowie and Blur all over my bedroom and I think at one point I made an England themed collage in a scrapbook. LOSER! Now I am sure most of you are more than accustomed to my many tales of unplanned, unsupervised and unpredictable vacations. Just recently I tried to add up how many times I’ve hopped... [Read more]

The night before I departed for London I was a stressed out mess. The cause? Well, that stupid volcano in Iceland decided to spew forth its wrath over the entire isle of England. In a state of comedic agitation I would obsessively reload the BBC website in the hopes that I would see good news. But as each minute ticked by – one airport after the next was being closed. I felt like I was very... [Read more]

Moving sucks balls. OK, that statement might not be poetry but there’s no way you can deny it. Moving sucks even bigger and stinkier balls when you have to do it unexpectedly and begrudgingly. As you know – I recently had to move. When I first found this out, I was so shocked/stunned/gobsmacked that for around 30 minutes – I was actually at a loss for words. Me. Speechless. Imagine... [Read more]

The volcano didn’t stop me! I’m in London! Me in the Tate Modern  Read More →

Years ago I was walking in a grocery store and I noticed a sheep. It was coming up to Easter and he was randomly placed amongst the tacky Easter gifts. With one glance, it was love at first site. With a face like that – how could I resist! For years I have cuddled, squished and leaned against Mr. Sheep. I would watch my niece (who was around 6 years old at the time) jump on top of him and scream... [Read more]

My umbrella tuned inside out on me the other day. It turned inside out when I was walking to work, in the pouring rain, while walking on a really windy road. Cars were passing and children were sticking their heads out of windows – screaming “YOU ARE A WET FUCKER!” They then proceeded to throw spaghetti noodles at me. Ok that last part isn’t true. Actually the vast majority... [Read more]

I Ate Cereal I have a new lover – his name is cereal. The only problem with this relationship is that it’s somewhat unconventional. At times it’s a threesome or even a foursome. That’s right – I mix my cereals. Don’t you dare judge me. When its 7:30am and I barely have my eyes open, sometimes Honey Bunches of Oates alone will not suffice! I need a dash of Rice Crispies... [Read more]

I LIKE THE INTERNET! I also really like Skor bars but for once lets not get distracted by my sweet tooth. This is a internet-centric blog entry. For the past few months I have found myself taking note of any articles/blog posts that have really captured my attention.  And just like a highly contagious case of herpes – I am gonna pass these links on to you. Cause I love you that fucking much. Men... [Read more]

Not so long ago, a male friend of mine told me what happens to a man when he meets a new female. Most simply put, his brain uncontrollably decides if he would or wouldn’t have sex with her. This decision happens instantly and basically all men are helpless to it.  I like to call this moment the “would” or “wouldn’t” moment. So lets just think about this for a second.... [Read more]

A few days ago I was in a crap mood. I had my head on my desk,  I was pouting like a wet dog and I think there were moments of whimpering.  It’s never a pretty sight when I get in a bad mood but I guess for those around me it might be mildly entertaining. It didn’t take long for my whimpering to turn into a hissy fit. I believe at one point I actually slammed my foot down on the floor... [Read more]